Have You Met Ted?

On Saturday, Dylan and I walked around aimlessly shopping and eating. I introduced him to my favorite creation, Bantam Bagels which he was appropriately amazed by. The late summer weather was being generous to us lately, providing plenty of warm sun with low humidity. It was, all in all, the perfect day.

"Should we head back to shower?" Dylan asked, glancing at his watch. "It's almost six thirty." 

I nodded and snuggled in close to him, as he threw his arm around me and we headed back to my apartment. I was eager to get back to see Ashley, and also to get in his pants. The entire day had been like seven hours of foreplay and I was horny. 

As I turned the key in the lock to my apartment, I heard voices coming from inside. Assuming Ash just had a friend from work over, I pushed open the door and was shocked by what I saw. 

There, on our (brand new) couch was Ash, clothed but straddling a guy I had never seen before and clearly mid-makeout. 

"Dani!" Ash said, jumping up from her perch on the stranger's lap. 

"Heyy.." I said, dropping the shopping bags I had accumulated by the door. Ashley's face was beet red as she started to button her shirt back up. 

"Um, this is Ted," she started, gesturing to the man on the couch who had started to stand up. He crossed the room and extended his hand towards Dylan and me. 

"It's actually Tim," he said sheepishly and I saw a look of sheer embarrassment cross Ashley's face. I had no idea if I should be laughing or rolling my eyes at my roommate's antics, but I shook Ted's (er, Tim's) hand and gave him a warm smile.

"Danielle," I replied. "And this is my boyfriend, Dylan." I felt a happy rush every time I got to use the title in reference to Dylan.

"Great to meet you two," he said, clearing his throat. "But I,uh, should probably head out. Thanks for the, uh, water.. Ashley.. I'll call you," he mumbled as he bolted out the door.

As soon as I heard the door close behind him I broke out into a fit of laughter that I had been swallowing for the last minute. Ashley looked at me sternly. 

"Not funny, D," she said, crossing over to give Dylan a hug. 

"Come on, it's a little funny. You called him Ted." 

I saw a stubborn smile try to break through on Ashley's face, but she squashed it not wanting to give me the satisfaction. 

"Where did you and Ted meet?" I asked with a grin.

"On the train back from DC," she replied, crossing back over to the couch and straightening the cushions. "He was sitting next to me, then we split a cab afterwards and one thing lead to another.."

"Atta girl," I said, "Glad to see you're back to the Ash I know and love. Look we're going to go out tonight and meet Elena for drinks, want to come?" 

"Sure," she replied, plopping down on what was previously her and Ted's love nest to watch TV.

"Can I invite Tim?" she asked.

"Of course, the more the merrier. But you should know that I'm exclusively referring to him as Ted from here on out," I smiled.

She threw a pillow at me.

Walking back into my room, I deposited all of our bounty from the day on my bed. 

"So does she pick up random men a lot?" Dylan asked, closing my bedroom door behind us. 

I shrugged. "Well she was with Steve for so long, but she still was a huge flirt." 

He crossed over to me and intertwined his arms around my waist. "But you're not picking up random men, right?" he grinned down at me.

"Just on the weekends you're not around," I smiled, pushing myself up on my tiptoes to get closer. He moved his right hand up from my lower back and wrapped it around the back of my neck, pulling me into him. I moaned involuntarily when we finally kissed. It had been an entire day of painful torture wanting to do this. 

Without moving his mouth from mine, he walked me backwards until I was laying on the bed. He slowly unzipped my dress from the side and pulled apart just long enough to remove it off of me. 

"No underwear?" he said, realizing for the first time that day that the dress was the only item of clothing I had been wearing.

I grinned up as I reached to undo his belt, feeling how hard he already was. "I wanted to give you minimal obstacles." 

Flipping over so that he was laying on the bed, I crawled down to take him in my mouth. His eyes closed and his head rolled back. "Oh god, oh god Dani," he moaned, gripping the sheets with one hand and my hair with his other. I continued for a few more minutes until I felt his whole body tense before climbing on top of him. He grabbed my waist and flipped me so that I was on the bottom once more, tossing my legs over his shoulders. We both came within minutes.

"So about that shower?" he asked, as we laid in my bed on top of all the items we had just bought. 

"Separate," I said firmly. "I need to actually get things done in there, like cleaning myself and shaving my legs." 

He laughed and rolled on top of me, kissing my whole face. I laughed as I struggled to push him off. 

"You. Shower." I said, wiggling out from under him and tossing a towel in his direction. I threw on his discarded tshirt and started to put away the now crumpled bags. 

Giving me one last kiss, he wrapped the towel around his waist and headed into the bathroom.


A few hours later Elena, Dylan, Ashley, Ted and I were sitting around an outdoor table at a small bar near our house. It turned out that Ted was down in DC during the week for work, and only up in NYC on weekends. He worked for PWC as a consultant, and every few months was assigned new jobs in different cities, keeping NYC as his home base.

"Doesn't that get exhausting?" I asked, taking a long sip of my dirty martini. Dylan had raised his eyebrows at me when I ordered it, knowing that after one more of these bad boys I'd probably be groping at him and trying to take him home. 

Ted shrugged in response. "Not really, I mean I'm only 26, I don't have a family or relationship that I need to be focusing on, and I get to meet a whole slew of new people every month. To be honest, I kind of enjoy it. Aside from the whole constantly living out of a hotel room."

"Yes, but hotel sex is the best sex," Ash said, wiggling her eyebrows at Ted. 

Good lord. 

"So Elena," I said quickly, trying to change the subject. "How was that date you went on last week?" Elena had been casually talking to a guy she met at yoga class and they had their first date a few days ago.

"Ugh, awful. He took me to a raw vegan bar, and then forgot his wallet so I picked up the tab. Which, is fine, but kind of awkward for a first date," she said, slumping in her chair.

"Ugh," I replied. "Did he make you do like.. shots of wheatgrass?"

"Yes!" she exclaimed, laughing. "It tasted worse than gin. Seriously I don't understand where all the men are hiding. I mean, hot guys I see once on the street - where do they go?" 

"They're gay," Ash and I said in unison, causing us to explode into a fit of giggles. Yep, definitely feeling this martini. 

Noticing my drink was empty, I scanned the room for our waitress to order another and perhaps some appetizers to soak up all of the vodka. I finally spotted her by the hostess stand and as I attempted to make eye contact, my stomach dropped to my feet. 

Because she was picking up two menus and gesturing for a twosome to follow her, and I knew one half of the twosome. It was Steve. My eyes traced his arm which was extending back into the crowd and as it emerged, a tiny, dark skinned, gorgeous human was following right behind him. The fiancé. 


**It's pretty lame that I even feel like I need to provide excuses and explain myself, but I had food poisoning yesterday that is why you didn't hear from me. Thank you to everyone who commented sweet things though! You're super understanding and really the best. I'm going out of town on Friday for Labor Day Weekend, but I'll schedule a post to go up Friday morning.**