Unchanged

I finally heard back from Blast on Monday, and guess who scored a second interview?! This gal! However, that is scheduled for Thursday so onto more unimportant matters, like my run-in with Nick. 

This weekend I went up to Penn State for a hefty dose of nostalgia with a side of binge drinking for the annual Blue & White Weekend. The real purpose of the weekend is that the football team plays a scrimmage game (blue v. white), but in all of my years I have never witnessed said scrimmage game. I always find that I am much more captivated by the tailgating situation, and this year was no different. 

Haley, Spence and I rented a car outside of the city and set out on the four-hour drive to State College on Friday afternoon. We had rented a house for the weekend with five of our other friends, and I was eager to get up there for the much-needed reunion. It had been forever since I had been back at State, and I was so ready to leave all of my worries in Manhattan for two whole days. 

As our tiny Nissan pulled into the unchanged town, I tried my absolute hardest not to be that girl and start crying. The familiar campus held four years of my absolute best memories and my heart swelled at the sight of Happy Valley. Friday night passed quickly in a blur of bars and old friends. I knew Nick was up, but we hadn’t talked in more than a week. I didn’t want to start anything up again until I had decided what I really wanted, and as of now I had absolutely no clue. Regardless, my Nickdar was on full alert all night and every time a blonde guy walked by, my heart stopped for the three seconds it took to register that it was not him. 

Saturday morning after shaking off our hangovers with breakfast sandwiches and lots of Gatorade, we donned our PSU attire and headed up to the tailgates. It was a glorious 70 degrees out, and I was relishing in the feeling of the sun on my skin again. Vitamin D, I have missed you. 

“Why does everyone look like babies? I swear I just saw an 11-year-old smoking a cigarette,” Haley said as we navigated the crowds on campus. 

I laughed “I seriously have never felt older.” 

“So, do you think Nick will be at the tailgate?” Haley asked me tentatively. Since Nick and I ran in the same circles in college, I assumed he would be at the same tailgate as us. Which was why I had spent an extra ten minutes on my makeup this morning, but I wasn’t about to admit that.

“Probably,” I replied, trying to sound nonchalant. 

“You two seemed pretty cozy at my birthday the other week,” Haley said, nudging my shoulder with hers. 

“That was the tequila, not me,” I joked, bumping her back. Afterall, she was the one shoving said tequila down my throat. 

Haley draped her arm over my shoulders, syncing her stride with mine. “Well who needs men, when we have a full day of tailgate food ahead of us?” she raised her Red Bull in a cheers. 

“Hear hear!” I replied, clinking my Red Bull to hers. 

Two hours into the tailgate, I could already feel the sunburn I would have on the tip of my ski-jump nose. My friend Rich and I had been running the beer pong table (if I’m being honest, he was running it, I was merely guzzling the beer down) for more than an hour. Midway through game four, Spence came wobbling over to me on some serious looking Bambi legs. 

“Dani!” she slurred, looping her arm through mine. 

I laughed at her “Spence, it’s not even 1 p.m., how are you possibly this drunk?” 

“I just need to sit down and I’ll be fiiiine,” she said.

I scanned the area, and found all of the four possible seating options occupied. The tailgate had been put together by Rich who had even rented an RV for the occasion. I turned to my beer pong partner and pasted on an apologetic smile.

“I know that my skills are pretty much carrying this team, but do you mind if I run inside and sit with Spence for a little bit?” I asked him, gesturing towards my now swaying friend. 

“No problem,” he said with a chuckle. “The door is unlocked and there’s a couch in there.” 

I thanked him and lead Spence up the narrow steps of the RV. I spotted the tiny couch immediately, and my stomach dropped before I could even register what I was seeing. Nick was sitting on the couch with a blonde girl I didn't recognize practically in his lap. Their faces were close together, laughing. It took him a full ten seconds to even notice our arrival. 

“Danielle!” he yelped, looking sheepish. 

I took a deep breath, determined not to overreact. He was not my boyfriend anymore. He was, however, about twenty other names I was presently calling him in my head. 

“Spencer needs somewhere to sit down, do you mind?” I asked, a little more rudely than I had intended.

“Of course!” said Nick’s blonde buddy. I shot her a closed-mouth smile and lead Spencer over to the couch. The blonde walked out the door and Nick hovered for a second before following her. 

“Dani…” he started. 

“Oh please,” I shot back at him. “Save it. I have to take care of my friend.” I turned my attention back to Spencer, who was already fast asleep, sitting up on the couch. 

I kept my back turned until I heard the screen door of the RV slam shut. The noise made Spencer’s eyes shoot open. 

“Asshole,” she mumbled. I couldn’t help but smile at my friend. Asshole was spot-on.