Meltdown

When I got home Tuesday night after my date with Nick, I was surprised to find Ashley waiting outside my building. I spotted her silhouette as I rounded the corner off of 9th and quickened my pace to meet her.

"Ash?" I asked, reaching my hand out for her shoulder. She turned around, her face streaked with tears.

"H-h-hey," she hiccuped, wiping her nose with her hand.

"Come inside," I said, ushering her in and up the stairs. I followed behind as she took the steps two at a time towards my apartment. Curiosity was eating me alive, but I kept my mouth shut until we were safely on my couch. 

I put my bag on the floor and sat down facing her on the sofa, placing my hand on her knee. I was out of tissues, but I handed her a roll of paper towels and waited until she was ready to tell me what was going on. I wiggled my phone out of my back pocket to see if she had sent me any warning texts while I was at dinner, but my phone greeted me with a stamp of the time and nothing else. 

"It's over," she finally said between hiccups.

"You and Steve?" I asked, moving my hand in circles on her back. She nodded but didn't offer any words, her breathing starting to slow down as the hiccups subsided. 

"What happened?" I asked.

Ashley took in a deep breath and removed her face from her hands. She wiped the mascara and stray tears from under her eyes before turning to face me.

"I was in the shower and James called my phone," she started. "Steve answered thinking that it was someone from my work, since we have that huge roll-out going on right now. But I guess they somehow started like.. talking. He found out I cheated." 

"What?" I said incredulously. "James just opened up to your boyfriend about you two hooking up weeks ago?" 

"James has been mad since I ended things so I'm sure he saw this as an opportunity," Ash said, her voice dripping with resentment. 

"When was this?" I asked.

"This afternoon" she replied, starting to regain a normal breathing pattern. "He kicked me out."

"Ash I'm so sorry," I began, unsure of what to say to comfort her. "You can stay with me if you want. As long as you'd like."

She gave me a small smile. "Thanks."

"Did you pack anything?" I asked. 

She shook her head, "No. I honestly didn't think it was real until he was holding the door open. Then I just walked through and headed here."

"Do you want me to go get anything for you?" I asked. "I know how specific you are about your facial regime," I joked. 

She gave me a weak smile in return. "It's probably best if I stay away for awhile," she replied. 

I rummaged in my closet for an old Penn State t-shirt and shorts for Ash to change into. She texted her boss with an excuse about a stomach flu to get out of work tomorrow. A few hours later we sat on the couch watching New Girl, a bag of popcorn between us. Ash was mostly just picking at kernels before returning them to the bag, while checking her phone every two minutes for a text from Steve. By the time we went to sleep, her phone battery was worn down to 30% from incessantly refreshing the screen.

By Thursday morning, Steve still hadn't called and Ash still hadn't changed out of the clothes I had given her Tuesday night.

"Are you going to work today?" I asked her, while applying a coat of mascara. 

"No," she mumbled, rolling over in my bed. "But I am going to put on my big girl pants and get some stuff from our place." She sat up in bed, her hair twisted in a knot on top of her head. "Are you sure it's okay if I stay here for a little?" 

"Of course," I said turning to face her. "I wouldn't even hear of you staying anywhere else," I walked over to give her a hug. "But do me a favor and shower?" I crinkled my nose in mock disgust. 

She hugged me back and rested her chin on my shoulder. "Rude. But I hope he's at work today so I can just sneak in and grab some clothes. Murphy is supposed to be at doggy daycare on Thursdays," she said.

"I'm sure he's at work," I replied. I wanted to encourage her to go back to work too, especially since she said they had been so busy lately, but it didn't feel like my place to push. 

"Listen.. I'm supposed to get drinks tonight with that guy Keith, but if you want I can totally reschedule and hang here with you," I offered.

She shook her head, "No way, you should go. I can survive alone, and I promise to stay away from the knives." 

"And the scissors!" I yelled over my shoulder as I walked out the door.

Ash texted me at lunch to let me know she had successfully gotten in and out of her apartment without running into Steve. I was shocked that he still hadn't called, but I'm sure once he noticed half of her stuff missing he would feel the need to talk to her. They had hit rough patches in the past, but Steve had always loved her so blindly that they eventually made it through. 

By 6:30 I was shutting down my computer and packing up my stuff to go meet Keith. The office was still pretty packed and if I didn't have plans I probably would have been there for at least another two hours. We were gearing up for the Fall issues which meant a huge workload, so I silently promised myself I would come in a few hours early tomorrow morning.

I hopped on the subway and headed downtown to the bar that Keith had suggested. I usually felt too self-conscious to do my makeup in public, but I whipped out my mirror and mascara anyway. After all, this was a first date and I needed to look good. I scooted over as more people filed onto the train at the 42nd street stop, and was debating adding more blush when I heard someone say my name. I looked up to see Trevor holding onto the pole next to me. 

"Hey!" I exclaimed, quickly putting away my makeup. 

"Where are you headed?" he asked, watching me shove blush back into my bag. 

"Um the Guilty Goose, ever heard of it?" I asked.

"Yeah, I've been there a few times. Meeting anyone I know?" he gave me a sly smile, probably assuming I was meeting up with Nick. 

"Nope," I said shaking my head. "So how have you been?" I asked, desperate to change the subject.

"Good," he answered, nodding his head. "Any plans for Memorial Day?" 

"No, but I definitely plan to make it down to the shore a few times this summer," I answered, referring to the New Jersey beach towns that everyone from Penn State always frequented in the summer.

"Me too, we should coordinate together."

"Absolutely," I replied with a grin. I stood up as we started to approach my stop. "Great running into you," I said, leaning in to give him an awkward kiss on the cheek. I had yet to master the art of balancing while standing on a subway.

I followed a large crowd out of the train and up into the afternoon. I had no trouble finding the bar, and when I walked in I was relieved to see Keith waiting at a small table near the windows. 

"Hey you," I said leaning down to give him a hug. 

"Hey, you look great," he replied with a genuine smile. I felt my knees threaten to give out on me. "I ordered you a vodka soda, I remember you drinking that the other night. I hope that's okay."

"Good memory, but actually that is Ash's favorite drink. But you still get points," I grinned.

"Oh so I'm being rated now?"

"Yep so you better tread carefully," I quipped. 

"Duly noted," he said with a smile. "So how long have you lived in the city?"

I took a long sip of my drink, "Almost a year now, I moved here last summer. You?" 

"Almost three years, by way of Boston," he replied.

"I've always wanted to go to Boston."

"You've never been? It's great. I really miss it sometimes, but it's hard to complain when you live here." 

I nodded, "Yeah. New York is great, it really is, but my friends who don't live here have such a skewed idea of my lifestyle. They're convinced that I spend my days flitting from store to store in four-inch heels, rubbing elbows with the elite and drinking champagne." 

"Don't you?" he asked with a chuckle.

"Only on Wednesdays," I smiled. 

The rest of the date passed quickly and I was surprised at how much I liked him. He was a few years older, which I found endearing. He definitely had his life together more than some of my guy friends. I found myself clutching my stomach from laughing so hard at least three times. When I finally looked down at my watch, I was shocked to see it was 9:30. 

"Oh shoot," I said when I realized the time. "I should really get going."

"Something wrong?" he asked at my sudden desire to hustle out of there.

"No, not at all, it's just that my friend is staying with me and I feel badly leaving her for too long." 

He gave me a weird look, and I supposed it did sound a little bit like my friend was a dog I had to walk. 

"She's going through a break up and her boyfriend kicked her out," I added.

"Ah, that's never fun," he replied. "Been there." I was surprised - both that he had lived with someone and that he was offering up this information so soon. I decided not to dive into it though for fear of what I would find out. I had enough baggage for the two of us with Nick in my corner.

When we got outside, he wordlessly headed to the corner to hail me a cab. He got one almost instantly, and held the door open for me. 

"I had a great time," I said, tilting my head up towards his. 

"Me too," he answered. He started to lean in and I closed my eyes waiting for the kiss I knew was coming. That was, until it landed four inches to the left... on my cheek. My eyes snapped open at the unexpected let down. 

I sunk into the cab and gave the driver my address, watching out the window as Keith grew smaller and smaller. 

When I got home I found Ash on the couch with a tub of ice cream and a bottle of wine half-gone in front of her. "Oh man, be less of a cliche," I said reaching for the ice cream.

"Let me wallow!" she replied. "How was the date?"

"Amazing," I sighed. "But he kissed me on the cheek when we left," I said, scrunching my nose. 

"So?" Ash replied, taking a swig of wine straight from the bottle. 

"Classy," I said, pointing at her. "And I don't know.. we had this great chemistry and I gave him all of the signs to kiss me." 

"Maybe he just wants to take it slow," she said, shrugging. 

"Maybe," I echoed. "What are we watching?"

"Re-run of The Bachelorette," she said, nodding towards the screen. "I can't decide who I'm rooting for." 

I settled in to watch with her, relishing in having my best friend around. Even though I wanted her and Steve to work it out, it was nice to have her here for now.