Cyber Stalk

Hey, funny running into you last night. What are you up to this week? 

I was tempted to take Elena’s advice on ignoring Bray when he texted me Tuesday night. I guess we were sweeping the most awkward situation known to man under the rug by saying “funny running into you”. Not going to lie, his nonchalance wasn’t sitting well with me. But I was in that dangerous territory between casual hookup and potential girlfriend, so I needed to tread carefully. I sat on it for 12 hours to allow him at least a little bit of time to sweat - assuming that he was even sweating over me. Which by the looks of his other woman, I doubt he even needs a little bit of deodorant. 

As I sat in a cab on the way to work Wednesday morning (don’t judge me - it was pouring!) I finally got up the courage to reply.

Funny.. is that what the kids are calling “severely awkward” these days? Lol. Pretty busy this week, though.

Now I’m no expert when it comes to sending the perfectly-worded text but I figured I had done an okay job. I didn’t let him totally get away with his casual attitude at me witnessing him humping another woman on 8th ave, but I didn’t pull a Fatal Attraction. His reply came a minute later.

Bummer. This weekend?

Luckily I didn’t have to come up with a lie about my weekend plans. I had promised my Mom I would come to Philly, and I had already purchased my train for Friday night. 

Actually I’m out of town this weekend, won’t be back until Sunday night. 

I watched the phone screen as those irritating bubbles that indicated he was typing appeared, and then went away, and then appeared. I took silent satisfaction in the fact that he was struggling with a response. I can’t be the only weirdo who watches the bubble-struggle when waiting for replies, can I? 

Really making me jump through hoops here, D ;) 

Now, as I stated before, I am no expert on the perfectly-worded text. But typically I find that one winky face is always one winky face too many. I tucked my phone away as the cab lurched to a halt in front of my building, narrowly missing a trio of men in suits who had just stepped off the curb. I paid the driver and began the precarious ten-foot journey from the safety of the warm cab to the lobby. 

The work day was slow since most of the senior staff left on Tuesday for a conference in Boston. I spent most of the morning perusing Twitter and creepily watching any interactions between Elena and Jeff. I think I am more invested in their quasi-relationship than they are.

By the time lunch rolled around, I had already fielded half a dozen "stop it you creep" glares from Elena.

"I feel like I'm on my first one-on-one Bachelor date with you watching every conversation between Jeff and me," Elena accused as we walked to our favorite deli for lunch. The rain had decided to relent for a little bit, and the sidewalk smelled like wet trash and worms. Sometimes New York, you're so glamorous it hurts.

"If it makes you feel any better, I totally think you're going to get the rose," I joked back.

"Oh I know, we have such a connection, none of the other girls could possibly feel what I feel," she quipped. "Pause, I totally forgot to tell you!"

"What?" I asked.

"Chelsea Gregory!" she nearly shouted.

"Am I supposed to know who that is? Are we still on The Bachelor bit?"

"No," she laughed. "Remember when you and Bray became Facebook friends, and we saw that rando writing mildly dirty things all over his wall?"

"Oh my gosh you're right, that was totally the girl from the street!" I said, yanking out my phone and furiously typing his name into my Facebook app.

It only took a few scrolls before I found her name, posting more flirtatious comments. Luckily she had never heard of privacy settings, because clicking on her page turned up a whole slew of photos.

"Definitely her," I nodded, handing the phone to Elena.

"Okay, who uses a bikini photo as their profile picture?" she said, furiously clicking through.

"Someone who has a body like that," I frowned.

"I know you're just fishing for compliments, so I will not justify that with a response," Elena said back.

I laughed, "I was not! She looks like Nina Agdal!"

Elena handed my phone back, gesturing for me to look at the screen. The photo showed her sitting on Bray's lap in a ballroom, wearing what was clearly a bridesmaid dress.

"They went to a wedding together?" I said, shocked. I searched for the date on the photo and was hurt when I read April 19. Two weeks ago. "What the hell. A wedding? That's serious."

"Okay, I am case in point that it is not serious," Elena said sternly.

"You and Jeff may have just started hooking up, but you were friends for months first. So you're situation is not applicable."

"I won't even argue that because I know I will lose," she said. 

"What do I do now?" I asked. We had arrived at the deli, and Elena paused to order our usual - two tuna sandwiches - before responding.

"Honestly, I would just ask him. It's not unimaginable that you came across her Facebook, and if you two get any more serious he should be sharing when he is someone's wedding date."

I sighed. "I already gave him the cold shoulder this morning, I'll just ask him the next time I see him. But who knows when that will be."

We took a seat, placing the number they had given us into the wire holder.

"Anyway, onto more uplifting topics. I wish I could be there to help you get ready for the wedding on Saturday!" I enthused.

"I'm so nervous," she admitted. "I have to meet his whole family, and we've only slept together a few times. It seems so fast."

I smiled at her anxiousness. "You'll do great, you make an awesome first impression."

"Thanks," she said. "But you'll have fun in Philly. Are you going to see anyone besides your family?"

"Yeah," I said taking a bite of the sandwich that was just placed in front of me. "A few high school friends, and my brother is bringing his roommate." My brother moved to Baltimore right out of college, and hadn't looked back since. He was two years older, and a total computer-geek genius.

"It'll be nice to relax," Elena offered between bites.

"Definitely," I agreed. I hadn't realized it until my mom called, but I was in desperate need of the kind of R&R only your parent's home can provide.

**Keep an eye out for a bonus post (on Sunday this time!) Have an amazing weekend. xoxo**