Mayhem

I stood frozen for a few seconds, unsure if this was real or if I was still on the train, asleep and dreaming in rom-com. Nick looked uncomfortable, clearly he had assumed I would come rushing into his arms like in the opening scene to Love Actually. Think again I thought smugly. 

I walked over to him slowly, re-positioning the weight of my weekend bag on my arm. I smiled awkwardly as I approached “What is this?” I asked, gesturing to his sign.

He gave me a weak smile, clearly disappointed in my reaction. “I just wanted to greet you.” 

I looked skeptically at him. “You didn’t even do that when we were dating."

“I just needed to see you,” he shrugged. I cast my gaze down to the floor, completely unsure of what to say. Over the past few weeks, Nick had been nothing but confusing. He said he wanted to hangout, but not be back together. Then he would go a whole week without texting me, but show up at the train station? This was starting to become the most annoying game of cat and mouse ever. 

“Can I walk you home?” he looked at me hopefully.

“I guess,” I said. He reached over and gently took the heavy bag from my shoulder, hoisting it onto his own. “Thanks,” I replied. 

We started toward the escalator and I snuck a sideways glance in his direction. His blonde hair was messy and the stubble on his face indicated that he hadn’t shaved since before work on Friday. My heart ached at how sexy he looked, but I was so sure that I needed to break ties with him. The past few weeks of being messed with by both him and Bray now made me realize I wanted something real, with someone who I knew where I stood. I was tired of second guessing everything. 

“Did you have a good weekend at home?” he asked, after a solid five blocks of silence. 

“Yeah, it was really nice,” I replied. “Steve came home too.” 

“How is he?” he asked. 

“Good, the same. He has a new girlfriend,” I offered. 

Nick’s eyebrows shot up, Steve was not one for girlfriends. “That’s exciting, do you like her?” 

“Haven’t met her, but I think they’re going to come visit in a few weeks,” I replied.

“That should be fun,” he said.

We finally arrived at my apartment and I turned my back to the door, facing him. Yet again, he insisted on seeing me but said absolutely nothing. I was pissed off and that was bubbling up inside, threatening to spew out.

“Okayy.. well thanks for walking me home,” I mumbled, reaching for my bag which was still balancing on his shoulder. His hand stopped me. 

“Can I come up?” 

I sighed, frustrated. “Why! Seriously, why? You’ve been randomly appearing for weeks now and every single time you do, we share polite small talk before you balk at any hint of a real conversation concerning us.” 

“I know, and that is why I wanted to see you. Danielle…” his voice trailed off as he stared past my shoulder. “I want you back.” 

My mouth fell open, shocked. “You..want me back? Why?” 

He let out a snort, “What do you mean, Why? I miss you, I hated seeing you with another guy and..” 

“Oh this is about Bray?” I interrupted. “You always want what you can’t have Nick,” I turned my back to him and started to unlock the door. 

“That is not true,” he retorted. “I’ve been feeling this way for weeks now, why do you think I showed up at Penn Station holding a sign like an idiot today!” 

I swung around to face him, “Do you expect that being awkward as hell for weeks, traipsing around Penn State in front of our friends with a random girl and occasionally sending me drunk texts, to be a successful way of getting me back?”

He shrugged, “You know I’m bad at showing emotion.” 

“Ha! Okay, whatever,” I turned on my heel and stalked inside. I heard him follow behind me. On top of the first flight of steps I stopped to face him. 

“Okay fine, maybe I’ve been a dick lately,” he started. I gave him a look of complete agreeance. “But I’m willing to try, I want to try."

I regarded him for a minute, standing in front of me. He looked so serious and so hopeful.

"I need to think about it," as soon as the words left my mouth, I saw him visibly relax. As if he had been holding his breath this whole time. Shaking my head I added, "But don't get your hopes up."

He reached over and squeezed my hand. "I guess that's all I can ask for," he said. He turned and headed back down the steps.

I trudged the rest of the way up the steps lugging my heavy bag, vowing to never pack four pairs of shoes for two days ever again. When I was finally in my apartment, I flopped onto the couch and whipped out my phone to call Ash to discuss what the hell had just happened. But before I could, I noticed a text from Elena that must have come while I was on the train.

Are you home? Worst. Night. Ever.

"Shit," I said aloud.

Oh no. Yeah, just got home. Come over.

I sat up to put away a few of the dishes that I had left drying in the rack on Friday and throw my bag on top of my bed. Within ten minutes I heard the buzzer sound. Letting her in, I went to unlock the door.

"Hey, that was fast," I said as I saw Elena rounding the last flight of stairs.

"I was nearby shopping," she said, tossing a TJ Maxx bag on the floor.

"Oooh, what'd ya get Maxxinista!" I said, reaching for the bag. When she didn't react at all, I realized how upset she was.

"So the wedding was a bust?" I asked.

"Bust would be a nice way of putting it," she said, collapsing on my couch.

"Do I need to hire large men to scare Jeff as he sleeps tonight?" I offered, jokingly.

She cracked a small smile, "Yes please."

"Okay, really, what happened?"

She sunk into the couch, picking at the hem of her shirt. "Well it was going really well, all through the ceremony and cocktail hour. He kept introducing me as his friend which bugged me, but I'm not his girlfriend so I guess I couldn't care. But then we're like, an hour into the reception and he's totally ignoring me. I mean fully engrossed in conversation with this girl to his right."

"Who was she?" I asked.

"I don't know, I think a college friend of the bride's. Her and Jeff knew each other somehow. But I started drinking more and talking to a few other girls at the table. We all got up to dance, and he said he didn't want to. So I just left him at the table."

"Yikes," I said.

"No, that's not even the worst part," she said. She put her face in her hands and started crying.

"Oh my gosh, Elena, tell me!" I said, moving closer and giving her a hug.

She extracted her face and wiped away the few tears that had rolled down her cheeks. "I was only dancing for twenty or so minutes, and I went to the bathroom. They were single-room bathrooms, so I walk in and he is fucking her."

My hand flew to my mouth. "No."

"Yes," she spat. "Her dress up, bent over the sink, fucking this random girl. He didn't even lock the fucking door, it's like he wanted to get caught."

I couldn't believe this. I had no clue what to say to Elena, it must have been the most awful thing to have witnessed.

"What did you do?" I asked.

"I said something awful to him, I honestly can't even remember what. Then I left. I just walked out and took a cab home. Thank god it was in the city and not in New Jersey or something or I have no idea where I would have gone."

"Jesus. I can't see Jeff doing that," I said. "Has he called you?"

"Yeah, about nine times, I haven't answered him. Work is going to be fucking awful tomorrow. He keeps texting me, saying that he and that girl have a past or some shit and that he was really drunk."

"Was he? Really drunk?" I asked. "Not that that is an excuse, but still."

"I don't know, I wasn't counting."

"I'm so sorry Elena." I shook my head, "I really, really can't believe he would do that."

"Just help me get through tomorrow at work," she said letting out a little laugh.

"I mean, once I kick him in the balls he'll at least be immobilized for a while," I joked.

I spent the rest of the night with Elena, feeding her greasy food and watching a marathon of Sex and the City. The Jeff thing had completely thrown Nick to the back of my mind. I had always considered Jeff a good friend and it was crazy to imagine him doing something so cruel. Tomorrow at work was going to get interesting..