Fish in the Sea

After seeing Dylan's (mildly) pathetic attempt at getting me to visit, I promptly replied to his email with the link to Amtrak's Refund and Exchange Policy page. A one-way ticket the day before departure between NYC-Philly ran upwards of $100 (I know, it's insane) and I didn't want it to go to waste. 

He hadn't been happy.

Regardless, I had already made plans since Spencer was down for the weekend to see my and Ashley's new place. It was now Saturday, and the three of us were buzzed off of cheap Trader Joe's wine and getting ready for a night out.

"What about these?" Spence asked, modeling a pair of too-chunky heels with the dress she had chosen. I scrunched my nose and shook my head. 

"What are they selling you up in Stamford?" I joked, taking in the hideous heels.

"I told you I never get out!" she said with a laugh. Spence had recently started dating one of the residents at her hospital, and between work and him she claimed she hadn't seen the inside of anything resembling a bar in months. 

"Don't you want to impress your man though?" I asked, raising my eyebrows. Weren't the first months of a relationship the part before you got too comfortable or was I wrong? 

"Please, he sees me in scrubs and crocs everyday, my idea of a little black dress is yoga pants." 

I laughed as she bent over to rummage in her bag for another pair of shoes.

"So is that how you and Dylan are? Always trying to impress each other?"

I shrugged, leaning forward to put on another coat of mascara. 

"Okay what gives? You can't just avoid him forever," Spencer said, coming over to stand next to me and meeting my gaze in the mirror. She could look pretty menacing, for being so damn small.

I dropped the mascara back into my makeup bag. "I know I can't."

"So? Are you going to break up with him?"

Overhearing our conversation, Ashley came in and plopped down on my bed. "Finally, answers!" she said, taking a swig of her wine. She had been pestering me to figure out what I wanted for days.

"No," I replied with a sigh. "I can't even fathom breaking up with him, I like him too much." 

"Well then what? Are you forgiving him? Because, no offense Danielle, but he's been nothing but shade ball central since the start," Ashley said.

"Geez Ash, don't hold back how you really feel." 

"I hate to agree, since I've never even met him," Spence started and I already knew I didn't wanna hear where this was going. "But I feel like whenever I talked to you about him you were either completely blissed out and in love or furious and untrusting. It was never just... normal."

Ash nodded her head in agreement. "I totally agree."

I crossed my arms across my chest, feeling defensive. I was in no mood to be ganged up on. 

"Lets just go out," I said. Before Ashley could say anything further I interrupted her. "I promise I will call him in the morning and work this all out. But tonight I want to have fun."

"Alright," Ash said reluctantly. 

An hour later, the three of us were at a bar on the Lower East Side. 

"This is so great!" Spence said, starting to slur her words a little. "I love being out! We should totally get pizza later. Oh my gosh, this SONG!"

Ash and I looked at each other, stifling a laugh.

"Spence, that wasn't even a logical progression of thoughts," I said with a giggle. She was like a puppy that had been crated for too long. 

I scanned the crowd, looking for Haley. She was supposed to meet us here 15 minutes ago. I checked my phone but saw only a text from Dylan - possibly his 20th of the day. 

Hey babe, have fun with the girls tonight. I'm just hanging in so feel free to drunk dial me to your hearts content :) 

I felt a dull ache in my chest, the result of missing him but forcing myself not to. My fingers itched to call him but instead I tucked my phone safely back into my clutch. 

"Dani! Ashley!" I heard Haley's voice carry over the bar. I turned around and nearly ran smack into her boyfriend, Joshua. 

"Hey guys!" I replied, introducing Joshua and Spencer. The five of us managed to squeeze into an open spot at the bar and ordered a round of shots.

"Careful," I said quietly to Haley. "Spence is already pretty drunk." 

"I can tell, she pretty much dropped all of her body weight onto me when we hugged," Haley said with a grin. "By the way, I think Keith is meeting us here. Not sure if it even matters, since I know you're with Dylan and all, but I wanted to give you the heads up." 

My stomach did a little flip at his name. I had really liked Keith, and I wonder if it would have gone anywhere if I hadn't met Dylan. Regardless, I hadn't so much as seen him since the night I ended it. It made sense that he would come around though seeing as him and Joshua lived together. 

"Oh, okay. Thanks for the warning," I said. "It's no big deal." 

By the time Keith got there, we had already done two rounds of shots and I was feeling giddy at the prospect of seeing him again. When I told Ashley he was on his way over, she gave me a look.

"You still have a boyfriend you know, even if you refuse to admit it," Ashley said sternly.

I rolled my eyes. "I know, Mom. I wouldn't do anything. I dumped Keith for Dylan, remember?" 

"Do you remember?" Ashley said back. I punched her shoulder. 

I felt a strong hand on my shoulder, ending Ashley's chastising. "Hey you," I heard Keith's voice. I turned around to face him, throwing my arms around his neck a little too enthusiastically.

"Hi!" I replied happily. He ordered himself a beer and handed me one as well. 

"So how have you been?" he asked, and I took a moment to appreciate how good he looked. 

"I've been great. Ashley and I moved down to the West Village," I said. 

He nodded, "Yeah I heard through Haley. That's a great area, you're lucky." 

"Yeah it's a bit of a haul to work, but it feels less like being in the city down there ya know? So much more..space or something. So how's your summer been?" 

"It's good, nothing new to report," he said, downing the second half of his beer and ordering another. I could tell he was nervous. 

"So I also hear you found yourself a boyfriend," he said. I shifted uncomfortably in my wedges. 

"Um, yeah, his name is Dylan," I said, mostly into my beer instead of at Keith.

"In Philly right? That must be tough," he said, pushing a $5 across the bar for his second beer.

"It's not so bad," I said with a shrug, desperate to change the subject. "Quick 2 hour bus or train ride." 

"Interesting timing though, you think?" he said and I could tell he must have had a few drinks before coming to the bar.

"What do you mean?" I pressed, even though I knew exactly what he meant.

"I mean you end things with me because you 'had too much on your plate', but then you have a new guy in like a minute," he said accusingly. 

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Keith, I wasn't like.. with him when you and I were talking," I said, wondering why I was even defending myself.

He shrugged and gulped more of his beer. I excused myself, grabbing Haley's arm and dragging her to the bathroom with me.

"What the hell?" I said to her once we were safely in the bathroom. 

"What?" Haley asked, fixing her hair in the mirror. 

"Keith just gave me the third degree about Dylan, you didn't tell me that he was upset about us." 

"Honestly, he never said a word to me. But I know he hasn't dated anyone else since you." 

I sighed. "We hardly even dated. We never even slept together." 

"Well I told you, he takes things slow with girls. But I know that he really liked you."

Great, just rub salt in the wound. I took out my phone and found another text from Dylan.

I'm going to bed but call me in the morning? 

I typed back that yes, i'd call him in the morning and tucked my phone away. I was now just more confused than ever. I had no idea that Keith had liked me so much, and I had just thrown it all away for a guy who lived 2 hours away that I couldn't even trust. I decided that tomorrow I'd be up front with Dylan about how worried I was, and if he couldn't give me some answers then I was done. There are plenty of fish in this Manhattan sea.