I Want You Back

I studied my look in the full length mirror on Thursday evening, satisfied with the outcome. The dress was borrowed from Ash, a black lace number that came high up to on my neck while keeping my shoulders exposed. I had braided my hair into a messy fishtail off to the side, and left a few curly pieces tumbling out. The final result turned out pretty well, if I do say so myself. 

I was sipping on a glass of chardonnay and flipping through the latest US Weekly (who will Andi pick?! #TeamJosh) when I heard the buzzer sound. I grabbed my nude Chinese Laundry pumps and skipped down the stairs. 

Nick stood just outside the door to my building, looking handsome in a sports coat and still-wet hair. I kissed him on the cheek and used his shoulder to support my weight as I slipped on the 5" heels. 

"You look fantastic," he said, giving me an appreciative full-body scan. 

"Not so bad yourself," I grinned. 

"No really," he continued, placing his rough hands on my hips and pulling me slightly towards him. "I'm going to be the luckiest guy there tonight." 

The look in his eyes suggested more than what I was willing to offer, and I gave him a small smile in return. I was still bitter about the Kara/Dylan Instagram, which Dylan hadn't even mentioned when he finally called me on my lunch break earlier that day. All he said was that he fell asleep early and was sorry he didn't get the chance to call. My heart wanted to believe him, but my head knew better than to trust a guy so quickly. Regardless, I wasn't mad enough to hook up with Nick out of spite. Even if Dylan and I weren't exclusive, I wasn't willing to risk messing it up. 

"Ready?" he asked, moving his hands to my back and leading me towards a cab that had been waiting for us.

"Absolutely," I replied, sliding in the car. It was a short cab ride down to Toshi's Penthouse where the event was being held. The evening was an informal celebration of the company's 10th birthday. According to Nick, they had a larger, more formal event planned for mid-September. 

I had never been to the venue before and I was stunned to silence when we stepped inside. A huge room with floor to ceiling windows was filled to the brim with many guys about Nick's age, all with a girl on their arm. There was a terrace off to the side with low lying couches and the most incredible view of the Empire State Building that I had ever seen. "This is insane," I hissed to Nick after we had done a lap of the room and stopped at the bar.

"I know, I saw photos when they announced the venue but they didn't do the place justice," he said, handing me a glass of white wine. 

"Well cheers to your event planner," I said, taking a sip of the delicious white blend. 

"Speak of the devil..." Nick trailed off, as I noticed a girl approaching us with intent. She was about my age and had an exotic look about her, and she sauntered right up to Nick and gave him a kiss on the cheek. 

"Nicholas, I'm so glad you made it," she said and I detected a hint of an accent. It sounded middle eastern, but I was always bad at pinning those things down.

"Of course, Sash," he said, turning to coil his arm around my waist. "This is Danielle, Danielle this is Sasha. She planned this whole thing," he said, using his free arm to gesture to the room.

"You did an incredible job," I gushed, feeling the unjustified, overwhelming need for this girl's approval. I had thought I looked good when I left the house, but standing next to this glamazoid I may as well have been wearing a paper bag. 

She gave me a closed mouth smile which I interpreted as a thanks. "I see someone I should talk to but, Nick? Find me later," she gave him a sultry smile and I felt my guard go up. He nodded in response and Sasha and her Louboutins disappeared into the crowd.

"So she's the event planner?" I asked, stating the obvious but fishing for more clues. 

"Yeah, we hire an external firm to do our events, and Sasha is our rep." 

"You seem pretty well acquainted," I noted, taking another sip from my almost empty wine glass.

"Are you jealous?" Nick asked, an amused smile tugging at the edges of his lips. 

I shrugged, but gave him a coy smile. Hey, I never said flirting with Nick was off the table. 

"Let's get you a refill," he said, nodding to my empty glass. I followed obediently behind him towards the bar.

A few hours later, after I had met nearly all of Nick's coworkers, Nick and I were sitting outside in the warm summer air on one of the couches. His arm was slung around me, pulling me close and all of the wine I had consumed was letting him. 

"So," Nick began, fixing his gaze on me. "Who was that guy on Sunday?"

I bit my lip, not wanting to discuss Dylan. Talking about a new guy with your ex was the comfort equivalent of going to the gyno. 

"Um, just this guy I've been seeing," I said, doing my best not to meet Nick's gaze. 

"Is it serious?" he asked. 

"It hasn't been going on very long, but... yeah, I guess it is. Kinda." I said, dancing around the truth. Truthfully, I had no idea what it was. 

"Oh," Nick replied, looking angry. 

"What?" I asked.

"I mean I don't know Dani, you practically have a new boyfriend just weeks after I told you I wanted you back?" he was starting to raise his voice, and I was thankful that there was no one sitting at the couches around us. 

"He's not my boyfriend," I countered, feeling irrationally defensive.

"You got pissed when that waitress was hitting on me Sunday, you got weird when you met Sasha, I mean make up your mind!" he threw his hands in the air, exasperated. 

"Nick," I began, but stopped when I had no idea what I wanted to say. 

He turned to me and took a deep breath, calming himself down. "Look, Dani. Whatever, you have the right to date people, I get that. But you act like we're over, when we both know we're not." 

I felt something catch in my throat, a sudden surge of adoration that caught me off guard. I wanted to agree with him, to say that he was right. Afterall, Nick was my first love and my best friend for years. Dylan was just some guy down in Philly, who may or may not still be fucking some girl named Kara. 

"Are you going to say something?" Nick asked after a solid minute of silence had passed. 

"I waited Nick.. for months. You ended this," I said. "I need to see where things go with Dylan."

"He lives in Philly, why even start something with him, when I'm right here?" Nick said, a pleading look in his eyes that I didn't recognize. But he made an excellent point. 

I reached over and squeezed Nick's hand in place of a response. A glance at his watch told me it was past midnight.

"I should head home," I said, hoping he wouldn't ask me to stay. 

He let out a loud sigh. "Do you want me to help you get a cab?"

I nodded, not wanting to let him go just yet. We walked out of the venue together holding hands, and as we stood on the corner I turned to face him before trying to grab a cab. I wanted to try something. Reaching up, I wrapped my left hand around the back of his neck and pulled him towards me. He looked confused, but didn't stop me.

The kiss was familiar and sweet, but lacking the electricity and excited tendrils that enveloped my whole body when I kissed Dylan. It was exactly what I had needed to find out. 

"What was that for?" Nick asked, smiling. 

"Nothing, just a thank you for a nice evening," I smiled. At least now I knew, Dylan was the only one I should be focusing on.