Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Your call

Hi there,

I can totally get your frustration with there being no post last Friday. However, I'm not sure how that justifies a few of the ridiculously out of line comments that were left.

This is done in my personal time, for free. I didn't post Friday because I didn't want to half-ass it, and I was bone tired after a really long week. I have a great idea of where I want Dani's story to go, but I don't want to get berated when my own life gets in the way of an update. I don't want to post something just because I have to, I only want to post it when it's good.

You guys were used to depending on me that first year because my job was way less demanding, and I had more time to focus on this blog. Now, my job is a huge focus of mine, and I don't have as much time to devote to this blog. That doesn't mean I want or intend to stop posting though. If you'll stick with me, and read when I post (which I can promise will be regular, but maybe not every week at the same time for now), then I want to stick with it too. 

Your call.

63 comments:

  1. I'll read whenever you post. I hate that people expect so much when you're not getting paid to do this. Thank you for taking what little free time you do have and posting a fun story for us to read. It is appreciated. :)

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    1. No one expects so much. If you read the last post Dani asked about posting preference. Readers aren't demanding anything. Instead of the bitch fest post which is what this post is the blogger should of simply said, sorry I can't post and move on. To make up this story that the comments are ridiculously out of line and we depend on her too much is ridiculous.

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  2. Please stick around! I agree 100% that those comments are out of line. Thanks for everything!

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  3. Girl! Go.do.your.thing. People will be here! It's so easy to follow blogs on bloglovin or in their RSS feed to see when they post, people don't need to keep checking if they do that, it'll just show up when you do! Take care of yourself and your job! Not to mention, there are lots of other blogs to follow (although this is one of my favs!) to fill people's spare reading time :) Post when you can, I'll still be reading!

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  4. Let me see i got this rigth. Most f the comment were honest and respectful except for the ones from a anonymous that cussed otger comments.


    You promised to post, told readers to come back on Friday for a longer post and then get upset when readers bring it up because you're being berated? No one depends on you and wouldn't be checking if you didn't make a promise. You're doing us this huge favor. Do whatever you want. Berating readers because they respectfully state their opinion is ridiculous.

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  5. Please keep writing! The comments on the last post were so out of line, and I think most agree that we adore this blog and Dani.

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    1. Which ones? The ones responding to a question about posting preference posed by Dani? I would like to see what Dani and fellow commenters deem as out of line and berating.

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  6. I don't usually comment on blogs. I don't think I've ever commented on this blog. But I have to say kim has a good point. Most of the comments stating about how there is no friday or wednesday post were done quite respectfully. One even went out to say that s/he wasn't being pushy or ungrateful but was finding the broken promises a bit too much.
    Yes, life does get in the way. Yes, posting consistently can be tough. Writing in general is difficult. I applaud you for creating an engaging story and appreciate all you’ve done. I also understand your desire to not post when you think the content is dissatisfying to your standards. But please understand why people would get upset due to the fact that you stated there will be a post (or two) on certain times.
    I'm actually one of the people who don't believe (or care) about the promises writers make. Not because I am not invested in the blog. But because I understand life gets in the way and promises can be broken. I don't get overly emotional when a post isn't up when it's said it will be. I get a bit disappointed but I just go on waiting until there is another post up. But that's just me.

    The comments about your broken promises were anything but out of the line (except for a comment cussing out another comment). And I don’t understand people agreeing with you saying they were out of line. They were stating their disappointment in a respectful way. None were attacking you personally and calling you out or cussing at you (unless there were comments like that that have since been deleted). But that’s just my point of view. You may have took them personally. I don’t know.
    What I can say though is, saying a post will be up at a certain time can be a bit misleading. Perhaps saying that you will try to post it at xx day may be better? That why people won’t get too disappointed (hopefully).

    Sorry for the long comment.

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  7. Chris - @nylonlover69 on IG/TwitterOctober 7, 2015 at 10:24 PM

    You know, what gets me most about this situation, especially after seeing the same thing happen on several other lit blogs is this: I'm old enough to remember when the only time you got a serial story like this was in a weekly or monthly magazine. Getting something once a day or twice a week just didn't happen. And expecting someone to do it for free? That's just crazy talk. So we take what we can get, when we can get it. And if you aren't, then walk away.

    And then, look at that drop down that you use to post your comment... Dani has the option, of cutting off comments completely. She also has the option of restricting to only those of us who have a LiveJournal/WordPress/TypePad/AIM/OpenId sign in. I, for one don't have one of those that works, so I always use the Name/Url option and don't hide behind the "Anonymous" option. Stand behind your comments. You want to be snarky, be snarky, but stand behind it with who you are. Otherwise, bugger off.

    And then for Dani, you post when you can post and I'll stop by and check for them. Once a week, once a month, I'm good with that.. But if you say that you are going to post and can't, we get that real life gets in the way, but would appreciate a "life got in the way" note if you can't post.

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  8. I'm usually a ghost reader too, but I have to agree with Eunjeong and Kim. In what way were the comments out of line? Many of them were actually responding to your question about posting dates with the feedback you requested. I don't think that saying you like consistency or commenting on the fact that there is a missed post is being disrespectful. I have seen commenters get out of line on other blogs (the troll on life's greatest journey - YIKES), but the only person who was out of line was the one bashing other commenters, not you. In no way were you or your writing attacked. This is going to be an unpopular point of view, but if what was posted on the last post offended you so deeply, you might want to disable the comments. You could still seek feedback through polls on the blog site.

    I like the story a lot and would rather you keep posting, but it's up to you, obviously. It is difficult to follow a story that posts only sporadically, but if I don't like that, I don't have to read it, right?

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  9. I appreciate any and all story-related post and the time you spend on them. Even if it was once a month, I would read eagerly. What I'm not a fan of is reading the negative posts dedicated to comments you take offensive to. Delete them or disable the comments. It's that simple. Your call.

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  10. Long time reader and huge fan of this blog. I'd honestly rather you not have a schedule and post when you can than have a schedule that is unrealistic or too demanding of your time. Your loyal readers and fans aren't going anywhere, we love the story and Dani! I think where people get their panties in a wad (on every blog I follow, not just this one), is when there is a promised post that never appears. I'm afraid all of negative trolls and assholes out there are going to make all the bloggers disappear :-(

    You do what you need to do, and if that's not having a schedule and posting when you can, do that!

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    1. I agree.. and I commented before but it did not show my name for some reason. I will read when there are posts..it is a free blog after all. My suggestion previously was just don't give a date that they are coming.... then nobody is disappointed and you do not have the pressure. It should be something everyone enjoys, readers and author! The other blog I really liked fell off the face about the same time this one had the long break....they have not come back and I am sad.

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  11. Go ahead and bring the story to a close. We have stuck by you even through the extended absence and false promises. The comments posted are after you not following through on Wednesday and again on Friday. Setting clear expectations is all anyone wanted to begin with. My vote is bring the story to a close since this blog is such a burden.

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    1. You do realize that you have to option of not reading it anymore right? No one forces you to check the site for updates, since it is such a burden for you... ;-)

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    2. Okay, THIS is what I can't stand. The author asked for feedback, and anon at 11:20 gave their opinion. Just because you don't agree with it, doesn't mean it was voiced disrespectfully. When people solicit feedback, they should expect that some comments will be praise and some will be criticisms. That doesn't mean commenters need to jump down someone's throat because they aren't licking the author's boots. It is childish to see any dissent as automatically disrespectful.

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  12. I absolutely agree with those that feel you're being a bit unfair. Yes, you do this for free and it's fun for us readers. BUT!! Don't set expectations you CANNOT keep. As soon as you asked the posting question I rolled my eyes because you are so sporadic in the first place it seemed ridiculous you were even attempting to make promises again. Like another reader said, I'd rather you not have a set schedule and just post when you can. It's just poor taste to continue reaching out to readers only to leave them hanging.

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  13. With the exception of one person the comments weren't disrespectful. I think we all understand life gets in the way. It would have taken 7 seconds to post...no post today...sorry! And then people wouldn't be as upset. No post Friday...no post today, if your job is very demanding maybe a blog is not the best extra curricular. As far as not getting paid for blogging - no one FORCED you to blog, you made the choice to do it. I volunteer a lot of time in other ways, but when I make a commitment I at least let people know if I can't keep it.

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  14. Love your blog, please keep posting but just do it whenever you can. Some weeks you might be able to do two the next week none- do what you can, there are a lot of people who love this blog, don't let the negativity get to you!

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  15. I love this blog and definitely don't want to see it end, especially with so many other ending right now. I'm also on board with you not allowing anonymous comments as I think that would definitely cut down on negativity. As far as scheduling goes, I like having a general idea of when a new post will appear but don't mind when the author throws up a quick "sorry, life got in the way, be back next week!". 95% of your readers understand this isn't your first priority! That other 5% can kindly just go somewhere else. Keep doing what you're doing.

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  16. Please don't stop writing just because of bad comments, shame on those ppl!!!

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  17. To all of you agreeing have you read the comments on the previous post. No one berated the blogger or her writing. The majority were respectful. I don't get the author complaining when the comments were in response to her question about posting preference. If you can't post that's fine but don't make promises and get angry if someone asks about it. Yes we know you write for free but this is your choice, don't act like you're doing us a huge favor and we are ungrateful and depend on you. Be true to your word and so trying to get readers to beg you stay.

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  18. Seriously, people? Really?? If you're upset because you've sitting around waiting for a post and there isn'tone up yet, then you have bigger issues buddy. Get a life. Heaven forbid she doesn't post something because she wants it to be of high quality. The horror! Pul-leaze. The truth is, it's a no win situation. If she would have put up a half ass post, you all would have complained and chewed her out because of it. She chose to be considerate and not post something of crappy quality, and here you are, still complaining. Cut the girl some slack. Life got in the way. Are you going to sit there and tell me that life has never interrupted your plans? It's been said before on this blog and many others: SHE DOES THIS FOR FREE. SHE OWES YOU NOTHING! She didn't meet a self-imposed deadline? Trust me, you'll live. Leave the girl alone.

    Dani, post what YOU want, when YOU want. I appreciate you being considerate of your readers and wanting to post great things. You've got a loyal reader in me. I guarantee you that people will be reading regardless because you're a good writer.

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  19. I agree you should post when you can versus a schedule. Instead of disappointment when you can't post, every post will be a pleasant surprise : -)

    I think everyone understands real life comes first. Those who don't, I wouldn't worry or try to reason with them. I've learned not to focus on the negative and put that time and energy into my blog. If getting rid of anonymous comments help you do that, please do!

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  20. Hey, chick. I hear where you are coming from. Bottom line, even with the best of intentions, we let people down. You said you were going to post, life got in the way. It happens. I check daily regardless when you say you are going to post, I just go down my favorites list. If there's a post, YAY, if not, move on to the next one. The biggest difficulty with too much time between posts is remembering where we are in the story. I don't like to have to go back and reread. That's just me.

    Anyway, keep writing. There are those that may move on, so be it. mum

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  21. I'm the Anonymous commenter who cursed on the last post. And all of these people are right, I was cursing at another commenter. Not you. Nothing about your writing. I was actually cursing at them about complaining about you posting, because it's obnoxious. These people are also right when they say you owe us nothing. You don't have to post. We don't pay you. We aren't even always very nice to you. But when you say you'll post on a certain day and then don't, you can't expect people to not get upset. So, anyways, don't blame me and my "inappropriate" comments for not posting. They weren't directed at you. For the record, I think you're a good writer with a shitty group of readers, but I think you're also a bit of a flake who promises things she can't deliver. And to everyone crucifying me for using the f word and saying dicks and being oh-so-terrible, keep on keeping on.

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    1. So let's get this straight. The author of this blog "can't expect people not to get upset" when she misses posts, yet them getting upset gives you license to call them assholes, bitches, and tell them to suck dicks. I'm sorry, WHAT? How can this be the point of view of any adult of reasonable intelligence? Who justifies their behaviour like that after the age of 10? Frankly, the only person being "shitty" and "obnoxious" in the comments is you.

      Sure go ahead and unleash your vitriol, as you seem so fond of doing. At the end of the day, several people called you out and no one backed you up, which says it all.

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    2. Anddddddd you can shut the fuck up, too. All of you nutjobs want to demonize me and yet here you are attacking me, too. Fuckkkkk offffffffff.

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    3. Well at least you're consistent in your classlessness.

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  23. I'm here to read whenever you post! You are entitled to kick ass at your career and have a life! Don't let the haters get you down because that's all they are. Don't worry about a schedule the ones who care will be here for you when you post. Thank you so much for even taking the time to come back to us and start Danis story back up. Pretty amazing!

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  24. First time commenter on any of the many blogs I read in life! This one is my absolute favorite - please don't get discouraged and stop posting! I, too, am of the, "who cares about a schedule? post when you can, and I'll appreciate it" mindset. Maybe if you remove the schedule in general, it would even help reduce the stress you may feel when dreading having to feel like you need to post reasons you couldn't that day. Don't even worry about it! This blog shouldn't be a source of distress for you at all. Very grateful for your writing!

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  25. Ignore all the haters in the comments.. you do this for free... it takes your hours to write a post while it takes us maybe 10 seconds to check if you've posted... it's not that big of a deal...

    The loyal readers.. the one you want... we'll be here whenever you can post!

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  26. I just started blogging and it is not an easy process. Life happens and urgent things come up that take up your time.You should just post whenever you can and loyal readers will always be there to read it.

    If anyone is looking for a new blog to read check out TheSimpleSpiel.com

    #ShamelessPlug

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  27. I love reading your blog and I totally understand that you don't have as much time to post. I don't think you should feel any pressure to commit to a posting schedule, your loyal readers will keep checking and enjoy it whenever you have time to post. :)

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  28. I too don't have a problem with a blogger not having a set posting schedule. However, I do understand the frustration of seeing a promise of a post, and one not being there. Also, at the bottom of you page is still states every Wednesday and Thursday. What concerns me more is the defense attitude you took to the responses to a question you asked and one that was answered honestly by several people. No one was disrespectful to you. Throwing phrases around like "your call", "This is done for free" are a little disrespectful to your readers. Yes, you do this for free, however, you get something out having a fan following and people promoting your blog. You also promote it yourself on Twitter. If you didn't want the recognition, you wouldn't put it out there for people to read. A better course of action is to just own up to things that didn't happen and move on. I have seen bloggers attacked by comments and you definitely were not one of them. People have given you support and have expressed how much they like your story.

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  29. I have read and appreciated your blog from the beginning. I might not have commented much in past but felt compelled to reply to your post. First you asked your readers to state their posting preference. Two short post or a long one weekly. Then you promised a post of Friday. All of the comments that you are complaining were in response to your question. If you make a promise then you stick to it or at least give readers a heads up.

    No one begged you to right this blog so throwing the fact you write for free in our face is uncalled for. You promote your blog on Bloglovin' and Twitter so clearly you want readers. Then you claim to be berated. Please share with us what was said to make you feel so offended. Asking for an opinion and then getting mad because you get respectful responses is uncalled for. It's funny how other bloggers have experienced real bashing (Reese from hot mess in high heels and Ariana from Life's greatest journey) and still were appreciative of their readers. You have a sense of entitlement that is unbecoming. If the blog is too much of a burden for you and you can't keep up maybe you should let it go instead of making up excuses and blaming readers. It seems like you want us to grovel and beg you to continue to post. At this point after this post I don't even care anymore. This entire post left a bad taste in my mouth. Next time you want your reader's opinions you might not get it because when you get respectful comments you chose to reprimand us and act like you are doing this favor and we should be eternally grateful when no one said anything remotely disrespectful towards you or your writing.

    To clarify I don't think anyone was upset you didn't post. It's more the broken promises and disrespect from you. I was raised that a person is as good as their word. You don't point fingers and blame others when you don't do as you promised, you woman up and say "Guys sorry I can't post today." Instead you chose to berate your readers. Kudos Dani on making this into something it isn't.

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    1. I love this response...it perfectly articulates my feelings on the matter. Very well said!

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    2. Agree 100000000% with everything said here!! ^^^^

      Danielle, I think it's funny you took the time to write a berating, 3 paragraph long post to your loyal READERS, but can't manage to write a 1 sentence update when you don't follow through with a promise YOU made. We get that life happens 100%. BUT when you make promises and don't follow through and readers call you out on it, you shouldn't get all up in arms. Simple solution: don't make promises you can't keep, period. Just post when you can and we will be happy with it.

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    3. I completely agree 100% with this comment. I actually was one of the ones who commented on your last post. I have been reading this blog from the beginning and have sat through the absences excited for you to return. I was in no way being rude or disrespectful. Saying you will post Friday and then later stating that no matter what there will be posts on Wednesday is frustrating when you don't follow through but would have been much less frustrating if you had just taken a few minutes (even if it had been a day or two after) saying "sorry for no post Friday guys, things are crazy in my life at the moment and I will try to get up a post as soon as possible. Instead of being defensive. Then you also don't have to put up a half assed one. Of you're respectful to your readers they will be more likely to be respectful to you.

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    4. Also I'm not sure how most of them were "ridiciously out of line" considering a majority of them mentioned how much they enjoyed your blog.

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  30. I say give up the blog. I do think you're a great writer, and I liked following Dani's story. But if writing a post once a week is so difficult, don't do it. Your inconsistency is what makes readers mad, you tend to disappear without any warning and then show up later with a lame excuse. Yes this is something you do in your spare time for free but you still make a commitment to your readers, and if you can't follow through with it then maybe it's just best not to do it at all.

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    1. Working and having a full time job is a lame excuse? Well I would love to be you and not have those things.

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    2. When did I say I don't work or have a full time job? I also volunteer twice a week and write a column for my local paper. All done for free, on my own time because I follow through with my commitments. Don't assume you know anything about me.

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  31. You know what else is free? The news,... music on the radio.. and I get pissed if either of those are not on when they are supposed to be. So don't act all high and mighty and get pissed at US because YOU broke a promise AGAIN and we asked about it. Noone made you make this blog. Noone was rude to you. Noone took personal shots at you. Get over yourself. If you can't do it, end the blog.

    Like others have said, you sure had enough time to write paragraphs to bitch at us and pretty much ask us to beg for you to continue writing but you can't even extend us a courtesy to say "I'm really sorry, post will be late/... will be tomr" or whatever.

    At this point, I really don't care what you do because your attitude has ruined any desire for me to come back and read. Anyway since you've returned, the story has been slow, monotonous and boring. I was hoping you were just trying to get back into the swing of things but after this post of you saying you only want to post what is good.... well.. if this is what your definition of good now is, please safe yourself some headache and stress and call it quits now.

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    1. I have to agree with this

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  32. I'm just sad that there's still no post

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    1. I am too! A post was promised that Friday and never came. Then she wasted a Wednesday post complaining about her readers. We'll have a week and a half since the promised last post? Is this blog over or what?

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    2. Does anyone not remember when she did this before, and didn't post for several months?

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  33. I wasn't really annoyed until now it's been almost 2 weeks since the last "real" post; except for the whiney post, of course. I feel like the author is toying with us. Seriously, if you don't want to post, DON"T. If you're too busy, QUIT. BUT don't make promises and leave the very people who have been supporting you hanging. Even if you write again, I'm DONE with this blog. *DELETE*.

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  34. What's the status of the blog? Post whenever with no schedule, Wednesday schedule or no more blog? Please update is either way. Thanks

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  35. Clearly she doesn't want to face the readers who accurately and rightfully called her out. I hope she does the mature thing and at least addresses us with her decision on the fate of this blog.

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  36. Not gonna lie I don't think this blog is ever coming back :(

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  37. Wednesday...no post :/

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    1. Posts usually go up late on Wednesday. She explained a couple weeks ago about this change.

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  38. Why don't we pick up where she left off and continue the story here in the comments section?

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  39. Well apparently she has had time to jump onto Twitter but not update us. Cool. Glad to see you really "care" about your readers. I've been patiently waiting through all of your "breaks" but consider yourself having lost yet another reader.

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  40. Any suggestions for other blogs to follow???

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  41. Please come back and post again...maybe try a monthly post, then we could at least follow Dani's crazy love life....plus missing Dylan! LOL!

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  42. Thanks for this post Queader! Now I've got to get on and implement more thank you.


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